Whenever I buy clothes I think the day is productive :3 I bought these shoes that I’ve wanted for a while at h&m. Then my parents bought me basketball shorts and my mommy bought be new bras :) Besides shopping, in rehearsal today we had a ballet intensive which Kelly taught. It was really just the basics. I learned how to do a double spin! I don’t really know what it’s called, but let’s just say that I am really sore especially my butt.. I think that today was really tiring and I just want to go to sleep now.
I don’t like constantly being compared to someone all of the time. I know there will always be someone better than me at certain things, but I want to at least be considered my own person. I feel like I’m always going to be living in someone’s shadow.
I’ve always been terrible at making decisions. It doesn’t matter if it’s small or big; I suck at saying yes or no. When I’m on the fence about something, whatever someone says could easily sway my decision. I over-think it way too much and at the end I never know what to do or say.
I haven’t been to my elementary school since, well fifth grade. Every time I pass by while walking home I reminisce and imagine the school out for recess running around on the field.
The other day I saw my second grade teacher, who I knew would remember me. She brought me inside and everything was so damn small. Even the bathroom still had the same smell, and it all looked like I never left. I asked the secretary if I could visit teachers, and although she said no I still roamed around a little and lied down on the stairs. I miss elementary school.
I remember when I was trying to look for what my style was. I had just started to dance, and I was going crazy with picking songs for my choreo projects. Eventually I learned some emotional pieces from members of Project D. Then I finally realized how I feel when I dance using all of my emotions. And a light bulb went off in my head, something clicked. But for a while now I was unsure if that was really it or not.
Today John B. from Project D came in to teach Newgroundz. He explained to us that the piece he was going to teach had to do with really feeling the moves, and not just hitting the beats but listening and hearing what the song really was trying to say.
I really felt comfortable dancing it, I felt beautiful and confident.My dance instructor said I really looked like I was in my element. I was really proud of myself when he picked me for select too. John B. also had something to say to all of us. He told me that he saw my confidence and the way I applied what he said into my moves. He said my learning curve is beyond anything he’s seen in a while. And he told me what I needed to work on too which will help me. This rehearsal really shed light to what I was unsure of. I love days like these because it keeps me hungry and it makes me want more.
I have been waiting so long for this kind of weather. I’m tired of the cold. I ask my mom if we can move to Florida or somewhere warm all of the time. I miss wearing shorts, tanks and walking outside without a jacket on. I don’t know what it is, but to me this kind of weather has a certain smell. And I absolutely love that smell, it brings back nostalgic memories when I close my eyes. But I can’t wait for summer now..
I can’t wait for the summer to come again. I love planning out what I hope to do during the summer and then feeling accomplished after it’s done. I can’t wait to go on vacation, loose track of time, stay up all night long, and for all of those memories. I can’t wait to continue my Summer Bucket List with my best friends..