Sometimes people move on, drift apart and go their separate ways. I’ve learned that. Especially with my friends. You change and your friends become totally different people to you. You grow up and you realize that they didn’t and you start to know who they truly are. My old best friend asked me what my plans are for tomorrow. I looked at the text and a bunch of memories flooded my mind. I haven’t talked to her in months. I honestly thought that we would stay best friends forever. But I grew up and realized that wasn’t going to happen. Sometimes I miss her and I admit I used to have problems with her, but now I just hope she’s doing well. I’ve grown up and I learned to act more mature. Sometimes it’s okay to look back in the past with no regret. I don’t regret her being my best friend, I don’t regret anything about it. But that is in the past now and all I’m looking for is my future.
I went to church like I usually do, and when I got home I took a nap. Isabelle called me and woke me up twice. It was around 4 and I figured that I should do something productive instead of lying in bed all day. I went over to Isabelle’s house and waited for Joey to come so we can swim. We started swimming at 5 and we played Marco Polo for about two and a half hours. We got out and ate because we were starving. Then after we dried up we talked.. about multiple things. It was an interesting conversation, but then we had to leave. I liked today..
Honestly, I was looking foward to this summer. I thought it was going to be the best one so far. I thought I was going to have a bunch of unforgettable memories to look back on. I thought that this summer was going to be amazing.. I got my hopes up. My expectations were too high. I want things to be like how they were last year. So many laughs my sides hurt, all of the insiders, which I took all for granted. I thought it was going to last, but I was wrong. I should have cherished those moments more. I don’t know what I have until it’s gone. All those moments last summer; I wish I could get that feeling back.
Isabelle and I were freestyling to a song and she said, “At the end we should be like high school musical!” We started laughing and we both jumped up in the air to our poses. I put my fist into the air and I didn’t realize how close I was to the ceiling. I basically punched the edge of the ceiling. They made me put ice on it for almost an hour and a half.. But at least the swelling went down and it doesn’t hurt that bad anymore.
A couple of my “friends” told my Best Friend that they feel bad for her because she has to put up with me being her best friend. Too many of these kids are backstabbers. At least I’m not that immature to talk shit behind peoples back to their best friend.
You kids really need to get a life.
No one should ever feel bad feel bad for me that I’m Isabelle’s best friend. If anything I feel bad for them because they don’t have such an amazing friend like Isabelle. Same thing goes for Joey. I am so grateful to have them in my life. I feel so lucky that they are my best friends and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. When people say they feel bad for me, they probably don’t mean it in a bad way. But saying that just makes things worse. Don’t feel sorry for me because having Isabelle as my best friends is probably one of the best things that has happened to me. Yeah sure a lot shit happens to everyone and of course Isabelle tells me because she is my best friend. But don’t pity me because she vents to me and tells me everything. That’s what happens between best friends. I just don’t think that people should say stuff like that if they don’t know the half of the story.
I hate liars. I know that I’ve lied a bunch of times, everyone has. They’d be lying if they said they didn’t. It honestly bothers the crap out of me when people lie to my face. But if it’s someone I don’t really know or talk to it wouldn’t bother me. It’s a different story if it’s someone I love or someone I’m close to. Especially when I know they’re lying to me and I’m just listening to them talk their bullshit. It’s funny sometimes because I can act like I don’t care when I do. I just don’t understand why they can’t tell me the truth.
I hate it how I never have the courage to tell someone how I feel or just say something I’ve been dying to tell them for a while. I always end up regretting it in the end. I tell myself that I would regret the things I didn’t do rather than the things I did. And to some extent that’s true. I regret not saying the things I wanted to say in the past.
I watched tv at my cousin’s house all morning. At around 3 we got up and got ready. We went out and bought chocolate because we were craving. I came home at around 5 and since then I’ve been doing nothing. I do admit I felt pretty lazy today, but I hate doing nothing.
I hate having so much emotion inside of me that there is no way of putting my thoughts into words. It’s frustrating when I’m trying to tell someone what’s wrong, but there are no words to explain just exactly how I feel. Sometimes your thoughts are so overwhelming that you lose track of what’s wrong, making things so much more complicated than it used to be. Wordless thoughts will always remain indescribable. No matter how hard we try, our thoughts will never be on point.
I just wish they would treat me my age. I have no problem with my cousins or my brother, I’m actually close with them. Other than that I feel like I’m ten or something when I’m around them. Also, I need some space. My parents are always in my business and they don’t give me any privacy. They always barge into my room, ask me who I’m on the phone with all the time, gkdjetdjnvy I just want some privacy sometimes. I’m growing up, but I guess I should be thankful that they somewhat care about what’s going on in my life. But I just wish they would care a little less.
I dance because I love it. I dance because I can’t imagine my life with out it. I dance because I have too. It’s what keeps me going. When I go through a tough time in life, and I can’t even pry myself out of my bed or I’m crying my eyes out, I just want to be at the studio. It’s the one thing I can always rely on to make me feel better. It’s my safe place. The one place in the world where I always feel welcome. There’s always moms sitting in the lobby smiling at you and someone in the office to help you. My studio, though it has it’s flaws, is one of my favorite places in the world. Dance has helped me grow so much. I wouldn’t be the person I am today with out dance in my life. My team is my family. My teachers are my biggest role models. Dance is my everything
People always say “dance isn’t a sport” and I used to fight them but you know, they’re right, Dance is so much more then just a sport. Dancing is like writing in a journal but instead of hiding it under your bed you show the world your feelings.
I don’t dance to win, or to be the best, or to be famous. I dance for me.
Proof of why the dance community isn’t just a small sector of certain dancers. The owner of this Tumblr is a studio dancer and I’m more than positive that this is the same outlook as any dancer that loves dance in general. Whether it be Freestyle, Industry, Bollywood, Funk, Urban Dance Troupes, Studio or w.e. We all share the same love for dance.
There should be absolutely no division amongst any dancer. We all could learn so much from each other as long as we all come together as dancers and not view each other as people from different dance backgrounds. This is how we will grow.
But I still managed to have a pretty good day. I went out to my bestfriend’s house and we jumped into the pool. After two hours or so of acting like a little kid, we got out and dried ourselves. Then we both took a nap, well mostly me. But she woke me up by telling me there was food. After we ate we were so bored and there was nothing to do that we ended up going to the supermarket with her dad. But we managed to have fun. We went to where the “toys” were and we started hula-hooping, playing with a frisbee, and dancing in every aisle. Once we reached home we ended the day watching a movie.
I have no idea how you feel. I probably won’t have a clue of what to say to you. I most likely won’t be able to make you feel better and I know that I can’t fix it. But there is something I do know. I will be here for you. I will listen to you and try my best to make you feel better. I will give you your space and let you come to us when you want to. I’ll give you all the time you need. And I know that you’re strong as hell. I just want to say that I love you and I’m here if you need someone; anyone to just talk to and I promise I’ll just listen.
It’s true. But it makes me think a lot. Throughout everyone it’s always been me and you. It’s funny how we stick together through everyone. Now it’s you me and Joey. I’m sure it’ll stay like that for a while though.
I may sound like a loser, but today was my first day of band camp. I skipped the first two rehearsals and I do regret it. The drumline has to do the most work so I have to go there earlier than everyone else. I found it funny that as soon as I walked in I heard everyone shout, “Jenessa!” They all knew me. It was very tiring and I was completely lost throughout everything. My whole entire body is sore, but I’m sure I’ll get used to that. I’m glad that it’s only once a week though.. I just have to keep on trying and pushing myself I guess.